Person Care, not just Health Care

Dear everyone,

I went to the Infectious Disease Dr.'s today - YAY!!! After some trial and error with different entrances and floors to the building, I found the office.  My conversation with the I.D. Dr was as follows...

*Dr. shuts exam room door*

"So what's going on?" 
     "I can't write half a page of notes without being in terrible pain, I can't sing an entire song without my heart jumping around, and I'm too tired to function despite plenty of sleep."


  "How's your memory?"  *listens to heart*
      "Good question - it's not so good, but let's face it, that's a hard thing to gauge during finals week - every one's brains are shot then."

 "Does your face go numb?"  *takes temperature*     

         "Um no, but my fingers and toes go numb really easily, even when positioned normally."

 "Take this prescription, (scribble scribble) if it doesn't get better, we will re-test for Lyme's and see if we can't rule out other issues. Have a nice day."
*Dr. opens exam room door*

From a garden of a home in downtown.

 O.O    Fastest. Appointment. Ever. I don't think the examination table even had time to warm up where I was sitting.  What worries me about this is that those two symptoms - about the memory loss and facial numbness - are only present in the late stages of the disease.  The Dr. didn't seem phased/worried/concerned about it at all, it was so matter of fact one might have thought he had forgotten to bring his emotions to the office today.  I hate that.  I am not a squeaky wheel demanding oil, I am a broken human being, desperate to be pieced back together.  Just because I don't have rabies or AIDS doesn't mean you can treat my condition like it's the common cold and carry such a nonchalant air in this situation. It might not be a big deal to you that I can't knead bread, drive, write, turn door knobs, or even fix my hair without hurting, but it matters to me.   You may not be there to see it, but being unable to go for walks, ride my bike, sing a whole song, or go shopping without heart palpitations or burning fatigue really slams the breaks on my daily functioning.

 Mind you, I'm not a corporate CEO, a stunt double, a firefighter, or even a soccer mom.  I'm just a student - all I have to do is College, but even that is sometimes more than I can handle. That's why I'm not applying for a seasonal job this Christmas break.  I am a trained coffee-barista and very employable in that field, but I'd hate to apply, get a position, and not be able to work because I feel lousy - that's just lame.  This winter, my full time job is getting better and once again being whole, full, recharged.
....  but I'd be overjoyed to just normal.

I have the audacity to write this because I know that you care.  Your thoughts and prayers are the strong fortress around my heart.
All my love,
~Melissa